back!

I need to start writing again.

Eric is amazing. I love how he does the things i always wanted before, and was teased about. it's the little things.. it's the way he thinks of me all the time. his mom gets food - he asks me what i want. just one of many examples, but seriously, i dated the hugest douchebag for years. what was i thinking? It haunts me.

I need to make more $ so i'm looking for jobs and I want to start a band/group. i know that is weird, but music... music is the only thing i really have a passion for. i'm sick of school and boring cookiecutter jobs. i want to be creative, and famous.

I got an A in my art class yayyy

so last week i went to vegas

and now i'm in florida. 

i come back tomorrow though, and i'll be back for a while. 

vegas was crazy. the guys there sucked and i started to get kinda freaked out. i couldnt go anywhere in peace and i did not like that. it made me uncomfortable... not to mention i had a lot on my mind. mostly my family. i haven't been the best daughter, cousin, grand-daughter, step-daughter, sister... or friend lately. it's hard to have fun when you know you don't deserve to be and without the whole story you'd think i was crazy for saying that.. lame, weird.. whatever, but there aren't many people who would understand it. 

florida has been a good time. i nice chance for me to take it easy and rest/think. and watch dexter. my dad has showtime so i've been taking full advantage of the ondemand. i watched the L word for the first time ever and i must say i was entertained by the character alice simply because she was the girl who sang "shallow boy" on boy meets world. 

spring semester starts this week, andddd that sucks. i need to finish my schedule but once i do that i need to go out in philly and see friends. 

fireworks!

new years eve was good. it was definitely better compared to last two years, but nye in chicago in 04->05 still wins. hah. still ended the night in tears, but not because I was sad (which is what really matters!) but because i was so DAMN COLD. i think it was my body's way of keeping my face warm. haha. 

the party was awesome though. at one point, the place was packed. that felt good. and the alcohol was fully stocked at all times of course. even though i only had two or three drinks and still puked. champagne does it EVERYTIME. 

some of my friends let me down though. i haven't thrown a party in years, and to not show up or make some lame excuse... kinda bummed me out. and to think, I thought of some of them as my best friends?... makes me feel like an ass. just wanted to put it out there. 

but i still had a great time. 

it is what it is. 

i start winter session tomorrow. classes mon-thurs. 4 hours each day. eeek

fall semester ended good, and soon i'll be graduating! yes!

christmas was okay... 

my mom is good to me, and although i didn't get much, it's not really important. 

the best part was the weed she gave me. haha. disfunctional or amazing? amazing.

ever since i started smoking she never shared anything and vice versa. it's always been a weird thing between us... but this year she was just like " i left something for you in the bathroom" and when i saw it .. i was thinking what the hellll... no fucking way.. but yeah. it happened. 

but i did okay this semester. i didn't fail the one class that i def thought i would. it was so hard. i'm so relieved. 

2009 soon. 

i hope people come to my party. 

school not so cool

i'm so stressed out. 

and it's alllll because of school. 

i've got so much to do, and i just don't know how i'll get it all done. 

oh, and it's all due tomorrow. 

on top of that i'm worried about what my grades are going to be like. 

i can't even believe this semester is almost over. 

it went too fast. way too fast. 

usually this is a good thing, but not when you feel like you still need more time.

there are so many things i wish i did and a few teachers i meant to meet with.. 

now it's the end of the semester and they will just think i'm an idiot if i tried to talk to them now.

i am nervous. 

someone please get shitfaced with me tomorrow night/possibly tuesday night just in case i don't finish everything and will be handing in some stuff late tuesday monring. fuck my life. gimme fun. asap.